Thursday 30 December 2010

Cheese and the the missing expenditure

I have been a busy boy. Probably spending too much time in the armchair. The latest FoI request has be sent on its merry way to Uncle Eric via the wonderful What Do They Know (WDTK http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/cheese). Details of request are below:

psst ..the real story here is sneaky Uncle Eric paid the photographer over £500 for the official snaps but somehow managed to exclude this in the service expenditure spreadsheets that he is keen for DCLG to publish. Thankfully this Private in the army of armchair auditors is trained in counter surveillance. Also I noticed some intriguing request from James Bond on WDTK. Surely Uncle Eric stands no chance against 007.

Keep 'em peeled comrades.

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Dear Chums

As we fast approach the New Year I intend to deploy my limited
creative skills on making a calendar to celebrate a cheery and
efficient 2011. I know there is going to be a lot of pain and it
isn't going to be easy. I know we are all in it together etc etc. I
just want something to brighten my mornings, as I cry into my value
brand cornflakes with the fearful dawning realisation that my non
job as Assistant Toner Cartridge Warmer is soon to be deleted, So
for each month I intend to include a picture of one of my favourite
ministers. These will include Theresa May - sporting a fetching
pair of leopard print wellies (go on guess which month she will
be?..Yes, May!), William Hague will be handsomely mounted in June,
appearing with his stylish baseball cap - but sans special advisor,
after some judicious cropping. And obviously our gracious leader,
Dave and his fragrant wife will be included to bring joy to a
depressing winter month ( Samcamber surely!).

Alas, do not fret Uncle Eric, you have not been forgotten. My twins
(Eric and Erica if you must know) are particularly keen to get a
picture of you and your chummy ministers to adorn a month each.
Little Eric is actually your biggest littlest or littlest biggest
fan, I tell him if he eats up all his cake he will one day be a
great man like you. Erica on the other hand wants to be a pole
dancer.

Can you please provide me with the following information?

1) Please supply copies of the official minister photographs or
provide links to where the images can be downloaded.

2) Provide details of the photographer who took the photographs.

3) Provide a copy of the invitation to tender for the photograph
contract.

4) Provide the TOTAL expenditure for all photographs.

And finally if the total expenditure on photographs was over £500,
can you please explain why it has been excluded from the service
expenditure spreadsheets you are so keen to promote? After all, we
would not want people accusing you of not being transparent- or for
you to start a bright New Year by enraging the army of armchair
auditors.

Yours watching the birdie,

Derek

2 comments:

  1. You are a cunt

    ReplyDelete
  2. Commenting on a public holiday! You show commendable zeal Nick (or Giles). But Uncle Eric really will have to speak to you about your language...

    ReplyDelete