Saturday, 25 December 2010

Merry Winterval

The work of an armchair auditor never ends. This year I was even forced into action on Christmas Day. Thankfully the Texaco garage at then end of the road was open so I managed to nip out get the missus and bin-lids some presents before lunch.

Merry Christmas to (almost) everyone


25 December 2010

Dear chums

Merry Winterval to you all!!

The toil of an armchair auditor never ends and on this most
Christian of Christian festivals I find I can not tear myself away
from holding you to account. Who would have thought armchair
auditing could develop into such a riveting sport.

Firstly, may I can congratulate Uncle Eric and his cast of merry
men for an entertaining year. Who would have thought you could have
produced so many jokes in such a short time, especially considering
the crisis we are all in. If I was of a more serious disposition I
would have grave concerns but as I enjoy a bit as fun as much as
the next fool,I say carry on Uncle Eric. It is better than repeats
of Laurel and Hardy.

So today we celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus. I hope the vast
majority for the mighty DCLG workforce are taking a well earned
break and celebrating the day in the bosom of their christian hard
working families...... but are they all.

Can you provide the number of staff for the following questions:

1) Number of DCLG staff who are non-Christian?
2) How many staff are godless?
3) How many staff do not believe in Father Christmas?
4) How may staff are officially working on Christmas day?

Now it is time for me to tuck into a big juicy bird (insert your
own joke if necessary). To be honest I thought by now I may be
completely sick of turkeys after having to deal with you lot but
the sherry has gone to my head. So Uncle Eric, please have a good
Christmas. Eat, drink and be merry and then eat some more. And
promise that next year you will not to be such a Scrooge and stop
picking on the poor people.

Love you all

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