Friday, 18 February 2011

We are Family

When the Tickles twins flew into the St Cake’s playground in floods of tears I first feared that Jamie Oliver had been at the School Dinners.  It transpired they’d been subjected to a barrage of taunts concerning their father’s armchair auditing antics. 

Worse still, lyrics such as ‘Fattycakes Fattycakes Vexer Man’ suggested their parents had put them up to it. This smarted. I was feeling increasingly ashamed of my mounting failures to get a decent answer from my chums at Eland House, having had section 14(1) of the FOI Act thrown at me again this week on the flimsiest of pretexts:

I have even spotted signs of the odd crack in the lady-wife’s usually solid support of my endeavours, with armchair sandwich deliveries ground to a virtual standstill. Mrs T, if you’re reading, please tell me you’re not for turning!

But in all this familial gloom, a recent ray of sunshine. I was delighted to see that a chap called Tony Maycock had submitted a most articulate and reasoned Freedom of Information request to DCLG.  He sensibly challenges the vexatious nature of my queries, and requests evidence of the irritation and distress they have allegedly caused. As well as probing the matter of the infamous seven- course Eland House breakfast

 May I thank you Mr Maycock, on behalf of both the Tickles family and my other kin-the growing family of armchair auditors. You are a true gentleman.

Mr Pickle’s bloated figures have, of course, been something of a media talking point this week. It’s clear that he requires our help with even the most basic information:

So come on brothers and sisters, it’s time get to work on your own FOI requests! Your Uncle Eric needs you! We are family! Blood is thicker than water ( erm...if somewhat thinner than Eland House black pudding)


  1. Now now Nick, you know you shouldn't use words like that. Has that naughty Giles been showing off to you again?

  2. My name's not Nick.

  3. Of course it isn't, Nick, you pompous prick.