Monday, 14 February 2011

Currant Bun Theft!

Hello Chums!

What a day! I nearly choked on my third breakfast on the 7.17 into Waterloo East while casting a sneaky peak at a fellow commuter's copy of popular daily rag 'The Sun'. My roving eyes immediately alighted on a glorious outdoor image of one of nature's beauties sporting a rather fetching blue two-piece. Yes, it really was none other than a be-suited Uncle Eric accompanied by the headline 'Exclusive-Minister puts a cap on pens'.

This seemed rather familiar. Snatching my own copy from the cleaner's clutches, my suspicions were soon confirmed. The 'exclusive' story by Tom Newton Dunn, about ballpoint pen restrictions at Eland House, was based largely on my recent Freedom of Information request and the response it elicited from the nice folk at DCLG. Either that or someone has been tapping my phone!

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not averse to my odd moment the sun (generally having liberally basted the ever -expanding solar panel with factor fifty, and taken off the rubber knickers -geddit?) but I believe the old adage 'credit where credits due ' could have been written with the big (all-in-it-together) society in mind. So, I am looking forward to being paid handsomely for my contribution to this Sun 'exclusive'. So come on Mr Dominic Mohan! -render unto Derek that which is Derek’s! Or a certain armchair auditor will be sending a less fragrant scoop in your direction!

Yours exclusively

Derek Tickles


  1. This is an outrage Derek. Your "pens" FOI was an absolute corker and had my family in tears of laughter. You should darn well get the recognition you deserve!

  2. Mr Tickles, you are my hero!


  4. For heaven's sake Nick, you don't have to shout!

  5. My name is Sit Nobsworth Jobsworth III.