Friday 11 March 2011

Spad's Army


What with all this nonsense of Uncle Eric declaring war on all and sundry (http://tinyurl.com/5uxnltw) it would not be a surprise if he is gunning for William Hauge's soon be vacant position as Foreign Secretary. After all, Uncle Eric is renowned for his diplomatic skills and was recently complimented by 90 fellow coalition LibDems for his gunboat diplomacy (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-12413101)!

It is sad to see young William getting so over-excited, perhaps after reading the latest Andy McNabb, and donning his camouflaged baseball cap before instructing the SAS on a somewhat bizarre house call to the Libyan opposition party.

It seems that William is lacking the independent advice support and firm back-up that is usually provided by a special adviser. It was only last summer that, after various salacious comments in the press , his SpAd, Chrisopher Myers knelt down before Mr Hague, offering him his head.


It does seem that William and Uncle Eric share a problem with SpAd management. Recently the big cheese in the Civil Service (Gus O'Donnell) had to give Dave 'The PM' Cameron a telling off about the behaviour of SpAds (http://tinyurl.com/6hlq9en).

The rumours are the main criticism is being levelled at Uncle Eric Pickles special boyz - young Giles Kenningham and daring Nick Sheridan-Westlake. Even Bendict Brogan, deputy editor at The Daily Telegraph seems to be eagerly speculating which SpAd will go. See:

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/benedictbrogan/100078716/which-spads-will-go-in-camerons-clear-out/

So here is my latest FoI request:

 
 
Dear Chums
Last week I was at parents evening for my twins. I was pleased to hear that they are both doing well and showing progress in all subjects. I was informed that Eric the younger is showing a keen interest in politics which I found surprising given that he is still at primary school. His teacher, Mrs Blackboard, says when the class was asked what they wanted to do when they grew up, my little Eric was the only one to say he wanted to be a Special Adviser. Unfortunately his fellow pupils decided to extend the bullying that he has recently experienced and he spent the next few days being called ‘a spadstic’. I am keen to that this unsavoury incident does not deter my son from pursuing a career in politics.


Can you supply information on the following please:
1 . Do special advisers (Nick Sheridan-Westlake and Giles Kenningham) receive quarterly and annual performance reviews. If yes can anonymised score and assessment be provided please

2. Have either SPad received any disciplinary written or verbal warning since appointment at DCLG

3. Have either SpAd been awarded a bonus or pay increase since appointment

And finally so that I able to conduct some forensic armchair auditing,

4. Can you please supply all expense claims for both SpAds in a spreadsheet.

Yours faithfully,

Private Tickles

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