Monday, 22 August 2011

War is Over

Initially I thought Dave 'The PM' Cameron had cut another holiday short to sort out the problem with the growing crisis with weekly bin collections but no he wanted to come back from his 5th holiday to take the glory for sorting out Libya. He seemed to come back a bit quicker than last time when he limped back to tell the Feds to sort out rioters.

This lack of focus on the big issue of bin weekly bin collection is worrying and would have my Uncle Eric turning in his grave; assuming he was dead and assuming he is able to turn over unaided.

It appears that Uncle Eric’s war against the decimation of every Englishman’s right to have the remains of his chicken tikka collected weekly is failing – perhaps he should have a word with William Hague for some military strategic advice. Mr Hague may also be able to offer advice on how to handle a young feisty SpAd that can get you in all sorts of trouble.
So we now a have the situation where conservative run Rossendale District Council in Cumbria are no longer even bothering to come up your road to collect the household rubbish. Residents are expected to just dump it at the end of the lane. I think next the council should just get residents to chuck it in one of their many lakes that litter the landscape, that will be cheap and save a load of bother.

Also Dave Cameron’s own constituency council, West Oxfordshire, has moved away from weekly collection. Good Lord can imagine how poor Sam Cam is coping with a slop bucket in her pantry? According to the The Telegraph over half of the households in England do not have their rubbish collected weekly. Since Uncle Eric started to bang on incessantly about weekly bin collection a further 19 councils have moved away from them. Come on Uncle Eric get a grip, you are losing the war!!!!!

Here is my latest FoI request.

Dear Chums

This is a public service announcement. The war is over and you, DCLG, have lost. I repeat the war is over. Please put down your pens and raise your hands above your heads.

Uncle Eric has waged war on many fronts over the last few months but his attack on councils moving way from weekly bin collection has been the highest profile. It does seem now that with over half of households in England not receiving a weekly collection the war has been well and truly lost. More and more council scuttle away from the costly weekly collection faster than a rat heading for Uncle Eric's discarded daily chicken tikka scraps.

I wonder if Uncle Eric has any plans to make a dignified surrender or possibly commit hari-kari in the foyer of Eland House, dressed only in his rubber knickers like a defeated Sumo warrior?

Under the FoI act, may I request the following?

1.      Any plans to introduce the release of additional grants (delivered through specific grant) to enable hard pressed local authorities to reintroduce weekly collection?
2.      Any communication between DCLG and West Oxfordshire District Council relating wholly or partly to waste collection since April 2011.

Yours never surrendering

PS It is good to be back!


  1. Er Rossendale in Cumbria??? Think that's Lancashire (D)eric

  2. Oh, it's just over the border. And then a bit further. Once one gets beyond Uncle Eric's fiefdoms of West Yorkshire and Essex, it is understandable that one might start playing fast and loose with the facts. Imagine what kind of intellectual (surely no other kind) shenanigans must be going on in Eland House. The sense of geography must be on another planet.

  3. Thank you for pointing out my mistake. I am big enough to stand up and say sorry I was wrong. Rossendale is in Lancashire. So I apologise for any confusion.

    Now that wasn't hard was it? It is pity that others can't just say sorry when they have been proved to be wrong .. eh Uncle E?

    Oh and can Nick and Giles please keep their comments clean. Swearing is not big or clever, especially from posh white public school boys from the home counties.

  4. I've just been to Center Parcs (TM) and I swear I saw Eric Pickles there. He was riding a bicycle - slowly mind you, but it was exercise - with a lady of indeterminate age and another couple, slightly older. I thought he was vehemently opposed to cycling but maybe the counsel of a friendly doctor and Mrs P prevailed. He wasn't wearing rubber knickers but voluminous shorts even though it wasn't very warm. He was wearing a pale short sleeved shirt with some food stains on the front. I would have laughed but I had just spilt Dr Pepper down the front of my white t shirt and wasnt about to cast the first stone. Anyway, thought you would like to know Uncle's whereabouts.

  5. Pickles at Center Parcs?! Gosh I didn't think they let oiks in.