Monday, 4 July 2011

Fame and Fear

Well I never! What a few days.....

On Friday I arrived home a hero. Mrs T, the twins and Bob and his dog were there to cheer me up the garden path. Under my arm I carried a copy the Local Government Chronicle, I held my head high and my chest was swelled with pride. Quite simply I had made it. I had been recognised – I was famous!!

The LGC article was beautifully written by the charming Ruth Keeling and outlined my struggles with DCLG to extract information from the department using the Freedom of Information Act. Recently DCLG have decided to deploy a tactic to declare requests as vexatious rather than simply supply the information that the requester is legally entitled to – so much for Uncle Eric’s cry for transparency.

Friday night I felt like royalty, not exactly Pippa, more Beatrice. I received calls and messages of congratulations but I assured everyone that I will not let it change me. I may be a star but I will remain true to my roots and not give up my day job (or even my evening job as an armchair auditor). Having said that if someone wants to commission a TV talk show or Hollywood blockbuster – please contact my agent Mrs T.  I am most certainly open to offers darlings.

Late on Saturday night my revelry was broken. A DCLG memo was leaked to The Observer  concerning estimates that suggested an extra 40,000 could be made homeless by proposed benefit caps. I was forced to issue a statement from the steps of my home, quoting the words of the reggae maestro Shaggy – “It wasn’t me!” Ok this was a bit over-dramatic considering I was not being door stepped by the media but I felt given my new  position in the media spotlight I had to issue a statement. With fame comes responsibilities.

That brings us to Monday.  Today it was said in The Telegraph that tweeter NakedCServant had been dismissed from his job for saying a few nasty things about sensitive Uncle Eric Pickles and poor Grant Shapps.  Blimey if this is the new way to deal with a few people moaning a bit, there will not be many left at DCLG once Uncle Eric has performed his Great purge.  Perhaps it is time for me to keep my cake hole shut – but we all know how hard that can be don’t we Eric – especially when there is so much lovely cake about?


  1. Derek don't get an over-inflated sense of yourself now! I have to say I was impressed to see our great Uncle E had spilled the beans over his party's brief to Mr SamCam , though less impressed that he subsequently, if somewhat predictably, wobbled.

  2. Like a Weeble, he wobbles but doesn't fall down. Oh, and MU for the cup.

  3. MU for the cup? Fuck that.

  4. Possibly MU does not stand for Manchester United in this case. Just a thought.