Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Cheque the hols!

Does Uncle Eric really love Dizzee Rascal? I knew he was obsessed with 'grime' and bins but really didn't know it went this far. Respect to the big man if this is true.

With the sun shining, many of us start to think about having some fun in the sun (no not the nasty newspaper who never credited my pen exclusive!). With budgets as well as waistbands more stretched than usual this year, perhaps it is time to scrutinise Minister's recent jollies abroad. So here is latest Freedom of Information request to DCLG.

Dear Chums

I learnt two new amazing music-related facts over the weekend. Firstly, the delightful Sarah Harding suggested the name Girls Aloud to the other lovely lasses as she is a big fan of Radio 4's Thinking Allowed -because she simply loved the pun.

The other fact is even more amazing. I was in Eland House's (subsidised) cafe recently and I saw Great Uncle Eric tucking into a mixed grill. He was listening to an iPod and I think I could just make the Dizzee Rascal hit 'Holiday' leaking from his headphones. Amazing, both poor Grant Shapps and Uncle Eric are fans of the Rascal - I hope they have not been  sharing music illegally though. It does seem their music taste is different from Greg Clarke who loves the pomp of attending the Last Night of the Proms -  of course only when the tickets are a gift!

The 'Holiday' tune got me thinking about trips abroad - perhaps Uncle Eric too was reliving some fine recent memories? Everyone knows in these  difficult all-in-it-together times that work trips come under close scrutiny, especially when Ministers are expected to publish all expenditure. So how could a Minister possibly grab their 'passport and bikini ' and escape that 'same old scenery 'as D Rascal might put it, for some overseas fun? Hey, why not get a junior member of staff to tag along and get him/her to put in the expense claim? Surely no one would look there, would they???
 Can you please supply the following information?

 1. A list of locations and dates, since May 2010, where DCLG Ministers have been on foreign trips?
 2. For each trip can you provide details any other DCLG staff member that accompanied for all or part of trip? Please supply name and job title?
 3. Please supply detailed expense claims for each attendee of the trips? Include if possible claims that were submitted and subsequently rejected.

I fear you may try to avoid answering this request by declaring it vexatious, even though the questions are important and legitimate. I therefore urge anyone else interested to 'dance wiv me' and submit the three questions above on their own behalf. I understand we will be surprised by what we find out.

 Yours in Grime



  1. They're not only looking for a baldie, but also for one who makes the right kind of spelling and grammatical mistakes. Have fun. The clock is ticking. Enjoy the mischeif (sic) while you can. Gross misconduct? Dismissal, no notice, forfeit of pension rights... That will help us achieve the savings needed in DCLG. We may even fly a flag to celebrate.

  2. Wow really? Is there really a witch hunt against dyslexics and alopeciacs at DCLG? As a slphaed employed by CDLG, I think an FOI is needed immediately to reveal the full costs ( in time and money) of this dubious investigation! In the meantime, I look forward to finding out all about sir cumferent's circumnavigations. And no I'm not Derek Tickles , just a fan like so many others at Eland House. Now, where's me regaine gel?

  3. I'm Spartacus