I have just about stopped laughing at the next harebrained idea to come out of DCLG Ministers - have they been out drinking with Bobby Neill again? I did not think that Poor Grant Shapps idea of solving the housing crisis by getting more people to live on Houseboats would not be beaten but my Uncle Eric has topped that mad idea with sheer incredibleness.
As Local Authorities are facing massive cuts to funding, youth unemployment is at over a million and the economy is as energetic as Andrew Stunnell on valium; Uncle Eric has come up with an amazing idea and is tacking the problem that vexes him most after weekly bin collection (remember he found £250 million for this pet project). The crisis this country faces at this monumental time is ... curry.
Uncle Eric is concerned that restrictions on the number of immigrants being allowed to enter the country will reduce the quality of his favourite dish. So he is setting up a Curry College (See: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/nov/18/pickles-curry-college-intergration-strategy?newsfeed=true). Amazingly he tries to wrap this venture up with talk of social integration but it is self-interest and stuffing his podgy chops that concerns him most. So much so that I hear he is going to appoint himself Vice-Chancellor and personally test each and every dish that is cooked.
Time for a lovely poppadum but I think the lime pickles is off and are making me sick.
I wouldn't mind if Mr P does something about the general state of curry in the nation's restaurants. But first, I want him, as the local MP, to sort out the dreadful state of eateries in his (and my) constituency, Brentwood. Come on Eric, get behind the drive for better food for Essex commuters. Some authentic regional food from the subcontinent, freshly prepared dishes, no more sauce-pot base for all dishes. Oh, and Mehmet in the kebab shop sends his regards - says he doesn't get to see you so much now you are in government and giving your business to Flames Grill in Victoria.
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