Trash talk

When I was a young lad bin collection was all so simple.  Once a week a grumpy bloke in flat cap would come up the back alley, open the gate limp up the path to the back door. He would then drag the bin to a truck (making as much noise as possible at 5am, especially in the week before christmas) and then he would return the bin to the house leaving a trail of old cabbage leaves, cans of Hofmeister and empty B&H packets in his wake.  This would happen every week without fail, unless they bin men were on strike or couldn’t be bothered. I also remember there was a time when dad was working away that one young bin man even stayed over a few nights a week to ensure that bins were empty and clean –now that was service – at least according to my mum.

Oh how things have change.  Now my council comes and collect the rubbish once a fortnight. I have to drag the rubbish out various bins to the edge of my mansion and return them in the evening. Now I find  each morning I come down to the kitchen to find it infested with mice and rats feasting on the remains of my chicken tikka masala. I fear if weekly collections are not reinstated other scavengers will start be attracting to the decomposing food mountain they I pile up next to the toaster. How long before I find myself fighting dingoes, raccoons and hyenas over my fried breakfast. Something needs to be done surely? Mrs T suggests we use the lockable food caddy that was supplied by the council but I am not sure…..

Latest FoI request to find out how many councils kicked up a fuss over weekly bin collection.

Dear Chums

I am very disappointed with Uncle Eric. I was expecting today that he was going to tell those stroppy councils to reinstate costly inefficient and often unwanted weekly bin collection as part of his localism campaign.  After all it is every Englishman's, god given, right to have the remains of his chicken tikka taken to a land fill within hours of discarding the left overs  – though I never personally find that I can’t finish off my supper and would be surprised if my Uncle ever throws any food waste away himself – as it is .. er ..wasteful.

I am surprised that Uncle Eric has been forced to make very large and uncomfortable U-turn.  I really cannot understand it myself. Why does he not just tell the councils what he wants them to do and force them to do it? He should make it clear who is the boss man. I must confess I know little about politics but suspect the Ms Spelman and the powerhouse that is Defra pulled rank over DCLG and we got our wrists slapped.

On to my request. Apart from Defra moaning about reintroducing weekly bin collection I suspect many (conservative) council were annoyed by plans. Can you please supply all correspondence (written and electronic) from councils to DCLG concerning weekly bin collection? Can this cover the period of 1/5/2011 to 13/6/2011?

Yours bincerely,

Derek