tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1367700929248548722024-03-05T17:35:51.856-08:00Hello chumsTales from a private in the army of armchair auditors with a passion for looking out for Uncle Eric at Department of Communities and Local Government.Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.comBlogger85125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-17749275443630419422015-04-04T09:40:00.004-07:002015-04-04T09:40:44.612-07:00Please no.....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-1004699107544220372012-05-01T12:37:00.002-07:002012-05-01T12:37:49.696-07:00I'll be back<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Cooooooo-eeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! Have you missed me??????</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">As you may
have noticed I have not been around much. As some of you know I have been
involved with a secret project. Well actually, I had the chance of a secondment
to small little Government Department called Her Majesty’s Treasury. It
appeared that HMT had got into a bit of bother, like most other Departments, they
had lost lots of experienced staff in recent restructuring. Things had got so
bad at HMT that they had lost all expertise in replacing the toner cartridges
to their antiquated printers and were desperate for my skills! Ironic really
that the Department with all the money are still relying on the old workhorse
which is the beloved HP Laserjet III(D). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This D is for Duplex printing for those who
don’t know!</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">My
secondment was timed to cover the busy period when the budget was made-up.
Wowsers - those guys at HMT do get through a lot of paper every day. I was kept
on my toes I can tell you. In the last few months I have had to change 3 toner
cartridges. Luckily I had lots of help and would formally like to thank the
ginger haired young lad with the funny voice –I think his name is Danny and
assume he is on some sort of work experience from a National Park or some other
small single function body. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would also
like to thank everyone for being so friendly but gosh you guys work hard – you should
come to Eland House for a rest!... oh and finally the SpAds are different.. (almost)
professional without the air of supercilious arrogance that I sadly I had been
accustomed too.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I will
hopefully be back at Eland House soon and will start making sure that Uncle
Eric and his cronies are held to account (or at least ridicule). In the mean
time I was intrigued to see that a few of my and others blogs and FoI requests
relating to Opera Solution, Gardant Communications <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and Nick Sheridan-Westlake made Private Eye
and the LGC last month.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">First
mention of Opera Solutions and how dodgy research has been used in July 2011:</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><a href="http://derektickles.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/fight-power.html">http://derektickles.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/fight-power.html</a></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Next blog
where questions are asked about meetings and emails between Nick
Sheridan-Westlake and Nick Vaughan at Gardant Communications:</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><a href="http://derektickles.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/hot-gossip.html">http://derektickles.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/hot-gossip.html</a></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">And finally
when Mr Edward Rudolf asked about email communications between Gardant
Communication and DCLG. This request was asked in September but not supplies
until January – just enough time for Nick to delete his emails?!</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><a href="http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/analysis_of_procurement_email_to#incoming-243845">http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/analysis_of_procurement_email_to#incoming-243845</a></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">I am sure this will not be the last of this. Ben Goldacre did the initial demolition job on Opera's work <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jun/24/bad-science-local-goverment-savings-ben-goldacre">(linky)</a> and this was then taken up expertly by Radio4's More or Less.... but comrades the real story is about poor Nick-Nick...so keep digging....</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">I'll be back.. sadly</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">Derek </span></div>
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<br /></div>
</div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-66332504487314275632012-03-07T12:29:00.000-08:002012-03-07T12:29:54.865-08:00Horse Power<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC-ifxjZkQJ7DN-L2hc0_KN73JhjtVK_zcbeb7nefbGPghasF3hds6h6gGpebTjdKBuCX0WUAakjpwddW5jXeoCws58hrdDTiSdt_vlkMGjTUc-Wmc-Ge1oM7L789GNXo3OdXSNTK6FPqu/s1600/NSW+loves+horses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC-ifxjZkQJ7DN-L2hc0_KN73JhjtVK_zcbeb7nefbGPghasF3hds6h6gGpebTjdKBuCX0WUAakjpwddW5jXeoCws58hrdDTiSdt_vlkMGjTUc-Wmc-Ge1oM7L789GNXo3OdXSNTK6FPqu/s1600/NSW+loves+horses.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Following on the revelation that Dave Cameron finally remembered <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>galloping along across the Chilterns on an old Met Police Horse, the question on everyone’s lips is has Uncle Eric Pickles donned a tight fitting pair of jodhpurs and taken a canter himself? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">In the past Uncle Eric has talked about cyclists in <a href="http://derektickles.blogspot.com/2011/02/uncle-eric-and-his-rubber-knickers.html">“runner knickers”</a> and a disturbing image of him riding<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a Boris bike has stayed with me for far too long. Though <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can really imagine him donning the riding boots, white jodhpurs with riding helmet strapped under his chins and riding whip in hand – what I cannot conjure up is a picture of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span> the poor beast that would have to carry his load.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Poor Grant Shapps – he is more like a jockey – short in stature; not blessed with brains and having really bad teeth - oh and the squeaky voice. Last week I had the dubious pleasure of sharing the lift with him. The doors were just closing on the ground floor as he burst through sporting the usual smug smirk and air of self grandeur. I was tempted to ask him which floor he wanted and if he was the new temp in LG finance dept but thought it was best to totally ignore him – apart for swearing under my breath. I get the impression this irked him – he seems so desperate to be loved.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Talking of horsing around <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand there are rumours that Uncle Eric’s Special Boyz were caught in some high jinks last week with the big man catching Giles trying to ride Nick – all without the requisite safety equipment but thankfully the whip was not required - just a bucket of cold water.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">This random randy gallop through some bad jokes leads to my latest FoI request which relates to DCLG spending:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Dear Chums</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">After the Chief Executive of Wandsworth defied anyone to find anything interesting in the DCLG expenditure, I sat down in my armchair to face this auditing challenge.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Imagine my surprise when I discovered in December that DCLG spent £18,800 on Ministerial Car. That is more than most hard pressed families spend on a car in 5 years or more, including purchase, tax and servicing. What are the Ministers doing – forgetting where they have parked them and just buying a new one? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Please can I request a breakdown of how this money has been spent? (and assuming you continue to declare my request vexatious I hope someone else asks this question)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Vroom Vroom</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Derek</span></div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-81086696915513646342012-02-25T11:46:00.000-08:002012-02-25T11:46:02.547-08:00Bright or wrong<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvfpEycWrOnHNbIj6eGRm9CJ75BGSMy6WBC3S47qzccLQPmAy0htd1RtyyX_6l3m9AHc1hM6i6zJ-kHH8_LClTv24x_vvMsupm01uvabfL_Ug3Gc_kj1C-dOwgRAFurzwcrHrZBky_y5Q-/s1600/NSW+love+the+smell+of+Eric+in+the+morning.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvfpEycWrOnHNbIj6eGRm9CJ75BGSMy6WBC3S47qzccLQPmAy0htd1RtyyX_6l3m9AHc1hM6i6zJ-kHH8_LClTv24x_vvMsupm01uvabfL_Ug3Gc_kj1C-dOwgRAFurzwcrHrZBky_y5Q-/s320/NSW+love+the+smell+of+Eric+in+the+morning.jpg" width="317" /></a></div><br />
Wandsworth council is often referred to as the flagship conservative council. It has often been praised by Uncle Eric, who we all know is a fan of flags (-unsure about ships though) and he is big big fan of sycophants. <br />
<br />
Wandsworth has always kept council tax low; not moaned about its (very generous) settlement and been a vocal supporter of Tory local government policy. In recent years though, Wandsworth has described itself as the ‘Brighter Borough’. I understand this has nothing to do with its southern latitude - there really are civilised councils further south of The River. Neither is it connected to the rumour that Wandsworth’s leaders basks in the warming sunlight that they believe radiates from the Secretary of State’s super massive blackhole of a backside - a suggestion which even Prof Brian Cox would not describe as ‘amazing and beautiful’. <br />
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I understand it is connected to the spurious claim that is has the highest percentage of graduates in its population. This irks its northern neighbour who may now decide call themselves ‘The filthy rich borough’ and another Sarf London neighbour who may go with the more simple – ‘The filthy borough’.<br />
<br />
All the jazz about how bright Wandsworth is has been inspired from a recent blog by the Chief Executive of Wandsworth. Is he and the council as really as bright as they say? Below is my latest FoI request:<br />
<br />
<div style="color: #660000;">Dear Chums,</div><div style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000;">Paul Martin the Chief Executive of Wandsworth ‘The Brighter Borough’ Council had a few things to say about the value of Uncle Eric’s diktat that all council publish expenditure data. (See: http://www.guardian.co.uk/public-leaders-network/blog/2012/feb/20/paul-martin-wandsworth-council-open-initiative). In his blog piece he said:</div><div style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000;">“It's a huge amount of information, but without analysis and comparisons raw numbers are meaningless. To illustrate the point, I have just looked at the Department for Communities and Local Government web pages on spending over £500. I defy anyone to discover anything useful from this process.”</div><div style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000;">Given that Wandsworth Council have been a loyal and fervent supporter of the Conservative party this criticism must hurt Uncle Eric.</div><div style="color: #660000;">Has DCLG conducted any research that they are prepared to share that provides evidence that there is tangible value in councils and DCLG publishing this bumf and clogging up the interweb? If so we can conclude the Brighter Borough is now a little dimmer? Or if no evidence exists, do we know if Paul Martin is suggesting Eric Pickles is a bit of a dunce? </div><div style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000;">Yours intellectually challenged</div><span style="color: #660000;">Derek</span> </div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-52145354685034579022012-02-23T13:07:00.000-08:002012-02-23T13:07:43.602-08:00Take this job and shove it<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
</div><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/qnhhjGavEq8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-80517152027762977512012-02-10T07:30:00.000-08:002012-02-10T07:30:44.952-08:00We Gotta Pray<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">Dearly beloved we gather today for the 15025<sup>th</sup> meeting of Barchester Council. Before we move on the substantive agenda items on closing down council services due to funding cuts; responding to Uncle Eric’s unique flavour of localism and doing the stuff we have been elected to do, please bow your heads and join me in prayer</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Lord Eric, in your mercy, hear our prayers.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">We pray that with your infinite wisdom you see your cuts are not fair and are focussed on the poor and needy. We pray that you are able to be gracious and help those that need help.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">We pray that you review the inequity within the local government settlement and the arbitrary metric of the revenue spending power.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">We pray that you do not turn a blind eye to the beggar (even if it is in the guise of a once proud city proffering a begging bowl). We pray that you do not mock their affliction but stretch out a charitable hand to offer succour.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">We pray that you treat all with respect. We pray that you teach humility and humanity to your special boyz in the hope that they can turn away from the dark side.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">We pray that you drop your unhealthy obsession with bins and all that is unclean. We pray that you allow councils to do the job they there to do without your constant interference. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">We pray for localism.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">We pray that you find it within yourself to praise councils not matter what their colour – be they blue, orange or red.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">We pray that you learn to love your enemy as your friend. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">And we pray your days at DCLG are numbered and you have the chance to move to DEFRA.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">Lord Eric, in your mercy, hear our prayers</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">Amen. </span></div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-38668000115636714722012-02-03T11:15:00.000-08:002012-02-03T11:15:20.408-08:00Rubbish Puzzle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf1czuT4wEgIhZCN40bBeMym_zVJaqJzvqU3HaD4JkLqyF5_zzq8Suwc0w8G2NwMqBlTPfd9QAoDQa3rRdVuZdb6r0dlv10L4POrEdHwHQl36HJ7eSPK63M-mZboJsUVGtIiFArcrfw-s4/s1600/NSW+could+not+solve+a+1x1+cube.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf1czuT4wEgIhZCN40bBeMym_zVJaqJzvqU3HaD4JkLqyF5_zzq8Suwc0w8G2NwMqBlTPfd9QAoDQa3rRdVuZdb6r0dlv10L4POrEdHwHQl36HJ7eSPK63M-mZboJsUVGtIiFArcrfw-s4/s1600/NSW+could+not+solve+a+1x1+cube.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">Rumours that I have gone Upto(w)n are not true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me tell you if Nick comes to my desk and tries to stick his grubby hands in my drawers, looking for incriminating evidence, he will go away an unhappy lad. In fact he would not only leave empty handed but embarrassed and feeling even more inadequate that he currently does. You have been warned Nick – stay away from my dungeon.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Here is my latest rubbish FoI request:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Dear Chums</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I was excited today to read about Uncle Eric’s kind generous gesture to councils that will allow them move away from inefficient fortnightly bin collection and return to weekly collection. I know there are some cynics who say the £250million which was miraculously found had been top sliced out of the settlement but I cannot believe Uncle Eric would be so scurrilous – I would not be surprised if this new money is coming directly from his own pocket, perhaps with help from the odd dodgy expense claim for a second home. [ - a joke my lawyer<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>reminds me].</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">In the press release today Uncle Eric says</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">“..</span>barmy bin rules have made putting out your rubbish more complicated than solving a Rubik's cube.”<span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Is this really the case?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can I ask what evidence he has to make this bizarre comparison? Which of these two statements apply to the Secretary of State. Either, </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">a)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">he is a genius and finds solving the Rubik’s Cube so trivial that any other task, no matter how simple, would be more difficult than tackling the cube?</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Or,</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">b)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">is he so utterly stupid that putting the bins out is really a task which baffles him so much?</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I know which of these two possibilities I would put £250 million on.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Yours puzzled</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Derek </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-31126281213920681902012-01-15T07:11:00.000-08:002012-01-15T07:11:21.185-08:00Hot Gossip<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMuIJHGG7lfabNmolzRWrPw8GTslctDaPHwqJgAETCIGsBiZSB72BIeO-zfWfexXEkqaF-JDse78EVys9i8jfdnFM6DnJXYFiJ82bTC8kDrQsWiW1_-lUSos3k2BsS_BOlLLmBUPlcz0DV/s1600/NSW+ran+away+from+a+moth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMuIJHGG7lfabNmolzRWrPw8GTslctDaPHwqJgAETCIGsBiZSB72BIeO-zfWfexXEkqaF-JDse78EVys9i8jfdnFM6DnJXYFiJ82bTC8kDrQsWiW1_-lUSos3k2BsS_BOlLLmBUPlcz0DV/s1600/NSW+ran+away+from+a+moth.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"> I have seen some stylish space hoppers carefully drawn in all sorts of places in the last few weeks. All of this has been surpassed by a quite remarkable unverified claim. Rumours have reached me that one middle-aged Head of Profession has decided to take the plunge and get a full-size Spacehopper inked across her ample back –you go Girl!. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first person to provide photographic evidence gets a free all you can eat lunch at Greggs courtesy of yours truly.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">In other news, last week, I spent most of Wednesday replacing the toner cartridge next to the Communications <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Team. What I love about Comms is they know lots and lots of the goss but have no one to share it with so just shout it out across the office at each other – obviously most of the time they are kept busy phoning unctuous journos trying to get Nick’s weird stories placed. Well I heard something rather interesting last week. So here is my latest FoI:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Dear Chums</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Can you supply me with the following information?</span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Dates and times when representatives from Gardant Communications or Heathcroft Communications met with staff, Ministers or SpAds from DLCG since June 2011.</span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"> </span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB">Details of payments to Gardant Communication or Heathcroft Communications since June 2011</span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Any hospitality, lunches or dinners received by Ministers or SpAds from Gardant Communication or Heathcroft Communications since June 2011</span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Yours with the goss</span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Derek</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-81840436139504498882012-01-04T11:46:00.000-08:002012-01-04T11:46:58.542-08:00Ichthys - all very fishy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDtMpw49VMHHgfUfnPM5pQBQWPu8FF5-8HnydDbXtHmv4tp0ZQldy6t0S5eQPzKmRjhZurTz9sswRltxh_CLBWmXBK7m1pZ1AeditkBeIeWo4eplNkpttLaSxj42nieYZPbu7Y-n8jer0/s1600/NSW+is+scared+of+ants.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDtMpw49VMHHgfUfnPM5pQBQWPu8FF5-8HnydDbXtHmv4tp0ZQldy6t0S5eQPzKmRjhZurTz9sswRltxh_CLBWmXBK7m1pZ1AeditkBeIeWo4eplNkpttLaSxj42nieYZPbu7Y-n8jer0/s400/NSW+is+scared+of+ants.JPG" width="328" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Happy New Year!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Twice in the last month, at work or work functions, I have been sitting next to colleagues who has doodled what look to me like a fish standing on its head with an open tail. This has been done furtively but clearly so that I was allowed to see the image before the outlined fish was hidden with other papers. I really did not know what to make of this and ignored the incidents. When I mentioned this the other day to my dear Mrs T she simply said “Ichthys” and “I guess it is all Greek to you”. She then wondered off making me feel small but thankfully wiki came to the rescue. It soon became clear that this doodle was secret sign and the image was not a fish but the outline of my trusty space hopper.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It does seem I have a growing band of disciples who are making themselves known to each other by flashing the outlined space hopper to each other. As you know I have faced continual persecution and vicious threats, principally from my nemesis Nick, so I urge all my followers to be cautions - also whilst I am on this subject, can I say I do not condone the biro scrawling of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the image on the back of the toilet door on the 1<sup>st</sup> floor which was drawn just before Christmas – please respect the property of DCLG, please!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here is my latest FoI request.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear Chums</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It was lovely to see that poor Grant Shapps was promoting sports and street parties in a press release on New Years Eve (<a href="http://www.communities.gov.uk/news/corporate/2059497" target="_blank">http://www.communities.gov.uk/news/corporate/2059497</a>). I was amazed, mainly as this was a Saturday - when does the poor man sleep?! The press release though encourages people to host their own street games. In fact Grant Shapps says:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; color: #660000; line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; color: #660000; line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%;">"As the country starts warming up for the 2012 Olympics, I want to be sure that no one has to wrestle with bureaucracy to be able to mark the occasion in style.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; color: #660000; line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; color: #660000; line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%;">"So I'm today calling on communities to make it their New Year's resolution to get on the starting line and prepare for their own street games. And because all too often red tape gets in the way of these events taking place, I want councils to make it their goal in 2012 to high jump over regulations and fly the flag for those neighbourhoods wanting to take part.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; color: #660000; line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; color: #660000; line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%;">"Hosting street games will both help towards securing an enduring legacy for London 2012 of greater participation in sport, and give everyone a chance to take part in a fitting tribute to the Olympics. I would urge councils and communities across the country to start planning now."</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have couple of questions:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt 55.5pt; text-indent: -19.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Did Grant Shapps really say this guff as claimed in the press release or was it scripted by some half-cut fool who is about as amusing as a Christmas cracker joke writing team? The reason I ask is that I have a tendency not to believe much of what comes out of the Department at the moment.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt 55.5pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt 55.5pt; text-indent: -19.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Has DCLG received any communication from Brentwood council concerning their plans to host a celebrity sumo wrestling contest that will star a famous cuddly astrologer and larger than life Minister?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt 36pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yours grappling with the issues - fight fans</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Derek</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-90553509178118863262011-12-16T06:37:00.000-08:002011-12-16T06:37:36.541-08:00M-Eric Christmas Chums<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirEU7u4zajSLMMy1ycxZtPkvm1_Xf0AZI0WB5nk4GW99OszFq8LyLcnSnc67voHqfv0tCQx4K_rri9jxR6nFo_fopolqd-VD2VVZLVMiZ1CXCZhs5plITsijkrKWGxItmO4-yaFUdQTnyi/s1600/Nicks+trousers+fell+down+last+week.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirEU7u4zajSLMMy1ycxZtPkvm1_Xf0AZI0WB5nk4GW99OszFq8LyLcnSnc67voHqfv0tCQx4K_rri9jxR6nFo_fopolqd-VD2VVZLVMiZ1CXCZhs5plITsijkrKWGxItmO4-yaFUdQTnyi/s320/Nicks+trousers+fell+down+last+week.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">'Tis certainly the season to be jolly, Chums. And not just because Gradgrind Shapps proposes curing London of Dickensian conditions by erm....suggesting huge fines that will sent people straight to debtors jail. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Those of you familiar with my ever lengthening column will be aware that my seasonal work as a Santa felt very threatened last year by the 'new 'news from DCLG that batty councils were waging war on our Christmas with new and unchristian names like 'Winterval', 'Festivus' and 'The Snowjob '. I was therefore delighted when that mighty organ , the Daily Mail revealed last month that this wasnt true at all , and I would be able to squeeze into the little red slacks and empty my sack in front of Penge's children again.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To celebrate I asked the twins to do me a picture to illustrate our favourite Xmas song- 'When Santa got stuck up the chimney'. The thought of a large chap compromised, embarrassed and losing his temper always raises a chuckle for some reason. Now I've been aware of late of a blossoming in the twins artistic ability- even the chaps in IT at Eland House are often pointing out those funny letter 'A' shaped towers with round tops and spiky baubles at the base they have the habit of chalking onto the back of my suit jackets. But I was still quite taken aback by their uncanny interpretation of Father C- I'm clearly talking about Uncle Eric far too much at bedtime!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I hope you have as much fun colouring this in as I had using it to wrap up a fox poo this morning. I blame those bin men!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-38922747711895990022011-12-14T11:23:00.000-08:002011-12-14T11:23:41.844-08:00Rubbish Performance<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
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Last week I had the pleasure of watching my little Eric perform at his school Christmas show. This week it was his twin sister, Erica, who had the chance to shine. I am pleased to say she equaled her brother with a beautiful rendition of ‘Good King Wenceslas’ in which she changed a few words to focus on Uncle Eric’s pet subject.<br />
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It is a little known fact that Nick Sheridan-Westlake has the voice of a gelded donkey and I had hoped to source a rendition of him singing the Carol to accompany this blog post but sadly I could not find it. If anyone has a copy his virtuoso castrato from last year’s Christmas party please post a link below.<br />
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</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Good King Wenceslas</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Old King Eric once looked out</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">From the House of Eland</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Saw the refuse round about</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Collected bi-weekly despite his command.</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“They know it’s every Englishman’s right</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">To have his vindaloo</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Collected each and every week </span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not one in every two”</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Hither, Shapps, and tell me</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why councils aren’t doing</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">What it is that I decree.</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s really got me stewing”.</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Sire,” Shapps said with servile voice</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“They talk of localism.</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now they say it is their choice</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">To have alternate weekly provision”. </span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Bring me Giles and bring me Nick”.</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">The hapless pair appeared.</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“This localism makes me sick.</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Who thought of this idea?”</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Sire, ‘twas an electoral pledge”</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">The SPADs had started fretting.</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“You said it would give us the edge,</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“If we stopped target setting”. </span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Goodness gracious” said Eric</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Whatever was I thinking?</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Can we get rid of this and quick?</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">I must have been out drinking.</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">If we are to win a place</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">In people’s affection</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">We must urgently replace</span></div><div style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fortnightly bin collection”</span></div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-22548565658856766912011-12-11T07:32:00.000-08:002011-12-11T07:32:13.506-08:00God Bless You, Curry Gentlemen<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKNJd0sVHseT5eh_G7-yKS6jyChtVF_YQxFpSwB3zVSuTM8by6Zo_zHKqGNTVstG3mBwx7NpKA8dFFveW2y2amWAwI-OJ9TlL8QkQIkfnUKHHCEcTvYUpgVHDMHxMGjGtQ4R7mugn_v-WD/s1600/only+a+small+slice+for+Nick+as+he+is+on+a+diet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKNJd0sVHseT5eh_G7-yKS6jyChtVF_YQxFpSwB3zVSuTM8by6Zo_zHKqGNTVstG3mBwx7NpKA8dFFveW2y2amWAwI-OJ9TlL8QkQIkfnUKHHCEcTvYUpgVHDMHxMGjGtQ4R7mugn_v-WD/s320/only+a+small+slice+for+Nick+as+he+is+on+a+diet.jpg" width="259" /></a></div><br />
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Chums, I hate to waste a single slither of my delicious Dale Farm Turkey. If Mrs T had a penny for every time she’s caught me in the wee hours, gnawing on a bone by fridge-light, mayonnaise all over the place, the economy would be in a far better place. A dry old bird can really ruin the season (I am talking now about the Turkey). Bored of the usual Scooby snack style ten- storey sandwiches and Mrs T’s ‘coalition soups’ -watery and lacking consistency , I realised the answer was right under my nose, on most of my lapels and all of my ties: Curry!<br />
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A good curry keeps the meat on the waist not in the waste, what with those ever expanding gaps between refuse collections, and at the same time celebrates the multiculturalism our mighty empire has engendered. It’s cheaper than a pig-out at Spicy World after work -and I can eat it at home without listening to Uncle E’s chops smacking together around a dirty bhuna.<br />
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So in tribute to -and inspired by-Uncle Eric’s wonderful Curry College concept I took a few days away from armchair auditing and turned ‘korma cadet’. I secured a sous-chef job at my local emporium – the Mahabarata in Penge - on a voluntary basis as an intern.<br />
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Sadly I was chased from the kitchens, having tossed a Bob Monkhouse gag about ‘infatuation’ into the banter, and been caught with my hands in the big pickle jar once too often. However I did manage to ‘borrow’ a nice recipe for that most authentically Indian of dishes Tikka Massala. I hope they don’t spot it here ( as most of them can’t speak English, fit in a minute to go online in between 20 hour shifts or afford a computer with the sub-minimum wages I should be ok ). I’ve made a few tweaks, but didn’t want to come over all Anjum Anand.<br />
Honest.<br />
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By the way, for dessert I like to continue the Anglo-Indian theme with an Empire classic -Victoria Sponge.<br />
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Derek’s Winterval Turkey Leftover Tikka Masala<br />
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<b>Ingredients:</b><br />
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Turkey leftovers, if you have any<br />
2/3 onions<br />
2½cm grated ginger<br />
3 garlic cloves<br />
1 dessert spoon garam masala<br />
1 tsp chilli powder<br />
½ dessert spoon ground coriander<br />
½ dessert spoon ground cumin<br />
1 dessert spoon fenugreek leaves<br />
1 tin chopped plum tomatoes<br />
3 tbsp tomato purée<br />
¾ pint / 16¼fl oz of water<br />
1 dessert spoon of sugar<br />
1 tub Greek yoghurt<br />
fresh coriander (chopped)<br />
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<b>Method</b><br />
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1. Relentlessly chop! Apply any number of misguided or ill thought through cuts to the onions -then fry them with the ginger and garlic until they all start to turn brown.<br />
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2. Add the fenugreek leaves, these give this dish that authentic fragrant aroma- think a night at Spicy World or Samcam’s bathwater.<br />
Treat yourself to a snifter of sherry.<br />
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3. Spice time. Add garam masala, chilli powder, ground coriander and ground cumin to taste. Cool as Giles’s hair or Hot as Uncle E’s collar.<br />
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4. Add the tomatoes and brusquely simmer this cheeky sauce for about five minutes. My wrists ache at this point. But that’s not unusual.<br />
Next add the tomato purée, ¾ pint of water- or 480ml if you are stuck with a batty Eurocentric measuring jug. Add large Pinch of salt and sugar. Repeat till conscience permits. You will now have the makings of a redder- than- Ken masala sauce. Blend this mixture to a smooth sauce consistency. In your blender. Even my wrists aren’t that good.<br />
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4. Now add the turkey leftovers to the sauce and return the pan to a low heat and allow it to simmer and penetrate the turkey pieces. Like the big society your ingredients are finally all in this together.<br />
Careful you don’t overcook them to breaking point. Celebratory slug!<br />
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5. Nearly forgot the spin! Now add the Greek yoghurt and spin it in like a SpAd to give the masala it’s superficial glossy piquant finish.<br />
It doesn’t matter how it tastes now, provided it isn’t as tasteless as a night at a French restaurant with Aidan Burley and pals.<br />
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6. Garnish with freshly axed coriander to give the impression there’s anything fresh at all.<br />
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7 Serve with naan bread, pilau rice, three onion bhajis, a sag panir, prawn puree, chicken chat, tarka dall, aloo gobi etc etc<br />
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8.Eat while watching Bergerac on TV Gold or an art house film -such as The King’s Speech, a little gem I discovered recently<br />
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Alternative method: Call The Mahabarata in Penge on 0303 444 0000.<br />
Free delivery. Free Poppadoms and sauces with orders of £30 or more.<br />
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Just don’t mention Derek T, they still haven’t forgiven me for tampering with their pickles!</div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-64829471168912640322011-12-06T11:54:00.000-08:002011-12-06T11:54:52.387-08:00Walking in a Pickles wonderland<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">Earlier today I had the joy of attending one of the twins school Winterval performance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew my<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>little Eric had written his own song and had been practicing hard for the last couple of weeks but I had no idea what he was going to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So when he appeared on stage in the school hall and sang like an angel it brought tears to many eyes. I was the proudest Dad in the hall and now I cannot wait to see what his twin sister Erica does next week.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">I would loved to have recorded the performance and share it here but due to an exclusive deal with SyCo Music<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am unable to. Simon Cowell has kindly allowed me to share the lyrics though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could this be this year’s surprise Christmas Number One?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">Why not click on the YouTube link at the bottom of this post, gather around the PC, turn up the volume and have a good old office since along..</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"> <span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Walking in a Pickles wonderland</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Councils are you listening?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Your assets are glistening. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">What a beautiful sight, </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">And a value that's right</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">For walking in a Pickles wonderland. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Time to sell, it's the hour</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Since we reduced your 'Revenue Spending Power'. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">You've held them too long,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">They're going for a song. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Walking in a Pickles wonderland</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Did you know that Hampshire owns some farmland?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">The council owns the home of Swindon Town!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Selling off the golf courses across Leeds,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Should help to keep the council tax right down. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">What you sell is your decision, </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's the joy of Localism. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Walking along, </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Singing a song.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Walking in a Pickles wonderland</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Have you met this friend of mine from Serco? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">He could do a quote for you right now. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Outsourcing services is the future. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">And he is the man to show you how. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Cut the power and the heating.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Earmarked reserves are depleting. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Reduce straight-away</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Executive pay.</span></div><span style="color: #274e13; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Walking in a Pickles wonderland. </span></span></div><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lkFP0VwpPRY" width="420">&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;&amp;amp;nbsp;</iframe><br />
</div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-66630012257666822122011-12-04T08:31:00.000-08:002011-12-04T08:31:31.583-08:00It's Panto Time - Oh yes it is<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
Here’s the season to be jolly and I am pleased to announce with Winterval fast upon us that a truce in war between Uncle Eric and his axis of Evil versus the Army of Armchair Auditor.<br />
<br />
To mark this unprecedented truce I was invited to a meeting that focused on increasing the rock bottom morale at DCLG. All the great and good were there plus Nick and Giles. Uncle Eric chaired the meeting and Poor Grant Shapps was asked to keep minutes – purely to keep him awake I think.<br />
<br />
The meeting started with a suggestion that senior staff put on Christmas play for the troops. One option put forward was a Nativity play with Uncle Eric appearing from a (very strong) safety wire in the atrium as the Angel Gabriel. Poor Grant Shapps said he could play the part of the Baby Jesus as he could sleep peacefully in a manager. But all this was scuppered when it was pointed out we could not find 3 wise men and virgin. At this point Nick’s frail hand shot up and he said ‘but I am a…’ and before he finished Giles interrupted and said, too much amusement, ‘yes we know you are but it is the wise men that is the problem’. Those specials boys really do not get on!!<br />
<br />
Anyway a decision was made that we would put on a pantomime and we have all been busy rehearsing - more details later folks.<br />
<br />
In the meantime here is a festive puzzle to keep the little ones amused.<br />
<br />
<br />
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</div><p><a title="play 1000s of jigsaw puzzles online" href="http://jigsawsite.com/">Online jigsaw puzzles</a> from <a title="create jigsaw puzzles from your photos" href="http://jigsawsite.com/">JigsawSite.com</a></p>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-47143209506972985382011-11-30T12:18:00.000-08:002011-11-30T12:18:09.370-08:00Party Time<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_yElppVGFZZe3R4Pj8CQckosuG6cryo2LJQF0cRq76_859j9xr2IO7qaC6fKmfdk0HzPD33dURaq5oaQl0wRFaFj5nZCglWQTUdJMLK1robF3W4Q_L9iW5BbiiRcHFLck_Fb5kFGVvOxs/s1600/NSW+knows+he+smells.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_yElppVGFZZe3R4Pj8CQckosuG6cryo2LJQF0cRq76_859j9xr2IO7qaC6fKmfdk0HzPD33dURaq5oaQl0wRFaFj5nZCglWQTUdJMLK1robF3W4Q_L9iW5BbiiRcHFLck_Fb5kFGVvOxs/s1600/NSW+knows+he+smells.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">During these austere times we are being bombarded with bad news from every quarter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The economy is in the doldrums, unemployment is rising and Uncle Eric is still running local government <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>…… …into the ground.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Even the amusing spat between poor Grant<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shapps and John Humphrys last week on the Today Programme has not lifted the mood significantly in Eland House – though the rumours that young Nick was to blame over the confusion of booking poor Mr Shapps and not informing him, bought a smile to my cheeky chubby chops.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">I therefore wish to lighten the mood. After all it is nearly the season to party so let us make this Winterval the best one ever. I plan to release an exciting cornucopia of Christmassy crazy creative blogs in the lead up to Winterval day. In the New Year I will be firmly seating myself back in the armchair and leading my shock troop of auditors into action again. So keep a look out for some krazy posts Chums.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">So let’s get this party started with another FoI request.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Dear Chums</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Last year Robert Neill responded to a question from Caroline Flint about DCLG Winterval Party: </span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;">“ As the Secretary of State indicated in his departmental press notice of 29 November 2010, the new Administration is committed to celebrating Christmas, including its Christian heritage. We should not allow politically correct Grinches to marginalise Christmas and the importance of the birth of Christ.<br />
<br />
Ministers recognise that we live in frugal times due to the need to pay off the significant public deficit and national debt that the Government have inherited from the previous administration. But there is no need to play Scrooge.<br />
<br />
In this context, a Christmas tree has been placed in the Department's reception at Eland house which has been provided at no cost to the taxpayer. This is in contrast to the previous cost of £1,037 for a Christmas tree outlined in the parliamentary answer of 12 November 2009, Official Report, column 849W.<br />
<br />
Ministers plan to hold one small reception for senior DCLG staff to thank them for their hard work this year. Their work includes the abolition of bureaucratic Comprehensive Area Assessment and other local red tape, stopping the imposition of bin taxes and the unfair ports tax, and laying the ground for radical new powers for local authorities through the Localism Bill. The reception will be held in Eland House.”</div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;">Can you please supply details of the <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>planned celebrations for this year as I appear<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>not to have received my invite yet – an administrative oversight from Nick Sheridan-Westlake I am sure.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;">Yours ready to fight for your right to party</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;">Derek</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-8562611009974725542011-11-20T09:40:00.000-08:002011-11-20T09:40:47.010-08:00Curry on laughing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2V5_uwV89ETzghqSA0Oy63mgl_q9qvgfgZ2otWE-OAJ7Wn3vKEQ6ejyjql1ktwFeRy5aDVUX5inqAznUAtDfdF6Jx30iWXHHN2viaDPZwzz65oMxzFaRvVLSN2dP-OXfyM5Kuko058u6/s1600/NSW+is+spanked+by+Giles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2V5_uwV89ETzghqSA0Oy63mgl_q9qvgfgZ2otWE-OAJ7Wn3vKEQ6ejyjql1ktwFeRy5aDVUX5inqAznUAtDfdF6Jx30iWXHHN2viaDPZwzz65oMxzFaRvVLSN2dP-OXfyM5Kuko058u6/s1600/NSW+is+spanked+by+Giles.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I have just about stopped laughing at the next harebrained idea to come out of DCLG Ministers - have they been out drinking with Bobby Neill again? I did not think that Poor Grant Shapps <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>idea of solving the housing crisis by getting more people to live on Houseboats would not be beaten but my Uncle Eric has topped that mad idea with sheer incredibleness.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">As Local Authorities are facing massive cuts to funding, youth unemployment is at over a million and the economy is as energetic as Andrew Stunnell on valium; Uncle Eric has come up with an amazing idea and is tacking the problem that vexes him most after weekly bin collection (remember he found £250 million for this pet project). The crisis this country faces at this monumental time is ... curry. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Uncle Eric is concerned that restrictions on the number of immigrants being allowed to enter the country will reduce the quality of his favourite dish. So he is setting up a Curry College (See: <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/nov/18/pickles-curry-college-intergration-strategy?newsfeed=true">http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/nov/18/pickles-curry-college-intergration-strategy?newsfeed=true</a>). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amazingly he tries to wrap this venture up with talk of social integration but it is self-interest and stuffing his podgy chops that concerns him most. So much so that I hear he is going to appoint himself Vice-Chancellor and personally test each and every dish that is cooked.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Time for a lovely poppadum but I think the lime pickles is off and are making me sick.</span></div><br />
</div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-53638283448147803572011-11-05T12:28:00.000-07:002011-11-05T12:28:01.100-07:00Get 'em out for the lads<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUkm6RRb1b_RcLWkSXAWd1p1IQXaLjEZGA-FjRt6w1uu4KNyNAFZGo9dQLcWFrmH5muLdoJhSpQn7eEu4tKahdUtmgGHKdVxwWvfrxIWctkFaAEE8VebpOyq24EzsDyLSh8vPdGHTwuBgC/s1600/NSW+wears+a+corset.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUkm6RRb1b_RcLWkSXAWd1p1IQXaLjEZGA-FjRt6w1uu4KNyNAFZGo9dQLcWFrmH5muLdoJhSpQn7eEu4tKahdUtmgGHKdVxwWvfrxIWctkFaAEE8VebpOyq24EzsDyLSh8vPdGHTwuBgC/s1600/NSW+wears+a+corset.jpg" /></a><em style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-style: normal;">This confession may come as surprise to my many readers. I have never invited my Uncle Eric to lunch or been invited by him – not even a candle- lit private soiree. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can search his expenses and you will never see my name mentioned at all. Though<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you are going to have to take my word for this as Uncle Eric seems to have to go himself in a bit of bother about declaring who he has met when and where (see: <a href="http://www.prweek.com/uk/News/MostRead/1101622/Eric-Pickles-quizzed-Commons-Bell-Pottinger-blog-revelation/"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">http://www.prweek.com/uk/News/MostRead/1101622/Eric-Pickles-quizzed-Commons-Bell-Pottinger-blog-revelation/</span></a>). You can be sure that humble blog is not going to ever try to embarrass Uncle Eric.</span></em></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
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</div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><em><span style="font-style: normal;">Whilst I have never dined alone with Uncle Eric I have had the pleasure to share a dining table with him on two occasions. The first was in the highly subsidised DCLG staff canteen when Uncle Eric tucked into a hearty mixed grill. The second time was recently when I went for lunch at the wonderful<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://www.spicy-world.co.uk/wilton_road/gallery.htm">Spicy World</a> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>near Victoria Station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Uncle Eric followed me in minutes after I had arrived, no doubt similarly attracted by the All You Can Eat Lunchtime Buffet – the memory of this duel visit will bring tears to the owners eyes for years to come I am sure.</span></em></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><em><span style="font-style: normal;">During this meal over a rogan josh, lamb bhuna, chicken tikka, etc, etc etc burp, etc, etc, belch, etc, etc … Uncle Eric and I shared a couple of appreciative grunts (no I don’t mean Nick and Giles) on the quality of the food. I did not expect that Uncle Eric would record the details of this epic lunch in the Members’ Interest but surely if it had been arranged by me and I was a influential lobbyist and it was at 5 star restaurant and I was paying and I we were discussing DCLG business , then perhaps we should know about it. </span></em></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><em><span style="font-style: normal;">As we are on the subject of eating out - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Poor Grant Shapps has got a bit hot under his sweaty collar over the recent revelation that officials from Ordnance Survey claimed for a meal at ‘Hooters’ restaurant whilst on an overseas trip. A tired but apoplectic Mr Shapps said:</span></em></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><em><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">"Now we learn Labour officials squandered hundreds of pounds not once, but twice at adult entertainment bars in America.”</span></em><em><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></em></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I am surprised by these comments. Firstly I thought that staff working for OS are not Labour Officials but simple civil servants. Secondly I think everyone knows (apart from, perhaps, the The Daily Mail) that Hooters is cheapish, novelty chain of fast food restaurants that just happens to insist that the young waitresses wear t-shirts and shorts. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not think it bans children from dining and no one would describe it as adult entertainment. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I, for one, would be intrigued to know more about what Mr Shapps describes as adult entertainment (nudge nudge wink wink).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">And less we forget ….. it was DCLG staff, under the current Minister, which splashed out a grand at a swanky burlesque bar (see <a href="http://derektickles.blogspot.com/2011/06/let-he-who-is-without-sin-cast-first.html">http://derektickles.blogspot.com/2011/06/let-he-who-is-without-sin-cast-first.html</a>). Now how do I spell <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- hypocrite? oh yes – t,w,a,t.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Here is my latest FoI:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Dear Chums</span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Grant Shapps describes Ordnance Survey staff whom made legitimate expenses claims as Labour Officials. (</span><span lang="EN-GB"> </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><a href="http://conservativehome.blogs.com/localgovernment/2011/11/dclg-staff-spent-taxpayers-money-at-adult-entertainment-restaurants.html">http://conservativehome.blogs.com/localgovernment/2011/11/dclg-staff-spent-taxpayers-money-at-adult-entertainment-restaurants.html</a>)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">He also describes the restaurant attended as an adult entrainment bar.</span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Can you please provide details on:<span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span> 1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB"><span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Does DCLG now have a policy of describing civil servants as political party employees? Will it in future describe us hard working DCLG staff as conservative officials?</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Has DCLG compiled a list of fast-food chains that are deemed unacceptable to dine at based on a moral code developed by Grant Shapps?</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Yours trying to get them out</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Derek</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-53150932341310275622011-10-30T05:16:00.000-07:002011-10-30T05:16:41.823-07:00Drinking on the Job<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:RelyOnVML/> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">With the recent revelations concerning Dr Fox and his unofficial adviser Adam Werritty, closer scrutiny is being applied to all special advisers in other Departments. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand no one believes that Nick is a close friend of any DCLG Ministers or actually a close friend of anyone at all. Sad but possibly true -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>just ask Giles…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3xoYjJCrsP0z0jxFDAAhwtV74KnPWa2mVtJ7jjqcz8d7Stv2YijbTLTttU3tjDX3DRVi_ulq1ADHf8E5aTupEM6hv_DEHJODxEiy5cvdTqGpHNFRd79_lLzmkJJx6bcxTzIUPcPNKpV0K/s1600/nsw+was+sick+after+one+sip+of+carling.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3xoYjJCrsP0z0jxFDAAhwtV74KnPWa2mVtJ7jjqcz8d7Stv2YijbTLTttU3tjDX3DRVi_ulq1ADHf8E5aTupEM6hv_DEHJODxEiy5cvdTqGpHNFRd79_lLzmkJJx6bcxTzIUPcPNKpV0K/s320/nsw+was+sick+after+one+sip+of+carling.gif" width="245" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">On to some exciting news. I am sure you all aware that it is British Pub Week. I intend to support this important event fully. Tireless workhorse Bob Neill has also been giving it 110% in discharging his Ministerial duties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On 21<sup>st</sup> September he slipped out of the office in the afternoon and supped a few pints at the Black Dog in South London (<a href="http://www.communities.gov.uk/newsstories/communities/1992999">www.communities.gov.uk/newsstories/communities/1992999</a>).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I think he developed the taste for the ale because a couple of weeks later he pulled a shift at The Partridge pub in Bromley (<a href="http://www.communities.gov.uk/newsstories/communities/2017854">www.communities.gov.uk/newsstories/communities/2017854</a>). Incidentally if you magnify the image and look at the reflections in the pint glass there is a ghostly image that looks like Nick Sheridan-Westlake sipping on a sweet sherry. I did not think we were allowed to drink alcohol during the working day – if we are then I think coming to work may become almost bearable again.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">Latest FoI:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Dear Chums</span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Bob Neill has recently been spending a significant part of the working week in some of South London’s finest boozers partly to promote British Pub Week. I am hoping that DCLG will be encouraging all staff to fully support this important event. I am keen to do my part and willing to pull a 7 hour shift every working day.</span></div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Can you provide any communication to staff that encourages staff to celebrate British Pub week and a copy of any (temporary) change to policy on consuming alcohol during working hours? Or is there one rule for Ministers and one for staff?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Hic….cheers</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Derek</span></div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-23347252812874038112011-10-26T12:00:00.000-07:002011-10-26T12:00:09.219-07:00iGoogle - uGoogle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNcHgN3r1sVql5HVqrFWRbr96TKSegzsCI75eP3cBhW2n-MrbXc6QTRV2Jd46AoR1inLD1HcuqY0CVNQECl-4njcT7d0G0_YFkwT-Pl6y8OW92uhz0gWxx3Ag5yzwO5wKRKfSXKVojIPat/s1600/NSW+sits+down+when+he+pees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNcHgN3r1sVql5HVqrFWRbr96TKSegzsCI75eP3cBhW2n-MrbXc6QTRV2Jd46AoR1inLD1HcuqY0CVNQECl-4njcT7d0G0_YFkwT-Pl6y8OW92uhz0gWxx3Ag5yzwO5wKRKfSXKVojIPat/s1600/NSW+sits+down+when+he+pees.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">Sorry I have not been about much. Some of you may know I pull a muscle down down in the basement (as in bowels of Eland House). I was trying out a few new yoga moves - never again. Normal service will be resumed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">Latest Freedom of Information request:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Dear Chums</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">On my way home tonight I was listening to amazing Dr Hook and I was reminded that being in love with a beautiful woman and cutting the deficit have some similarities - they are both hard. So I am in favour of the many creative ways to cut spending at DCLG. I particularly want to applaud the way the Uncle Eric has done away with the need for robust research or evidence to support his policies.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">We all know that conducting research costs money -all those boring planning meeting stating hypothesissesesses; <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>months going out doing field work speaking to loons and weeks writing it all up with a heavy heart knowing that no one is going to read it. Plus there is the real danger than findings come out wrong! Crazy waste of money I am sure you would agree.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">So it is reassuring that DCLG Ministers as doing away with unnecessary costly primary research and happy to trot out the line from any old Tom, Nick or Harry with an axe to grind.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Recently we have had some amazing facts about rat populations (courtesy of a pest control firm), research of weekly waste collection which was more useful as bin liner and the amazing Opera report on procurement (which is still attracting lots of follow up FoIs).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I note that yesterday in Hansard Bob Neil provided a written answer on trade union activities. <a href="http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201011/cmhansrd/cm111025/text/111025w0001.htm#11102556000004">http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201011/cmhansrd/cm111025/text/111025w0001.htm#11102556000004</a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Our Bobby quoted from reports from the Tax Payers Alliance and The Sunday Times. Both of these sources perhaps support Bob’s viewpoint but I wonder if this is a case of selection bias? Was there other research, that was conveniently cast aside? And is this research actually robust enough to be worth quoting?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB">Can you please answer the following to help me understand?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Did anyone at DCLG actually read and attempt to fact check either of these reports? If so who?</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Did anyone at DCLG review the extrapolation method that the Tax Payer Alliance so skilfully applied?</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Was a wider literature reviews conducted? If so please provide results</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #660000; text-indent: -18pt;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Yours googling,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #660000;"> </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: #660000; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Derek</span></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-59994139991085206072011-09-30T10:10:00.000-07:002011-09-30T10:10:35.195-07:00Dressing to the right<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSrhtb1I8vQ0rGEBYgT8JsMl2CfNDA4Zzqp-H2Tpilvs8eEtAeYeLExer_wPY2JcQyAtsA4BCDa_q7sVJ30DMh_ihN3jqfAjHpoZJIi3q31kHdt9XEigT6_QbShd1WptQzRdq8trB78TK-/s1600/NSW+has+a+small+Gok.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSrhtb1I8vQ0rGEBYgT8JsMl2CfNDA4Zzqp-H2Tpilvs8eEtAeYeLExer_wPY2JcQyAtsA4BCDa_q7sVJ30DMh_ihN3jqfAjHpoZJIi3q31kHdt9XEigT6_QbShd1WptQzRdq8trB78TK-/s1600/NSW+has+a+small+Gok.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Last week, finally conceding defeat in the long battle between Lidl detergent and dried tikka masala, dear , dear Mrs T decided it was time that I spruce up my winter wardrobe. Seems she has been feeling the style pressure from all those Elle-McPherson-ish ‘yummy mummies’ who appear at the school run. On the occasions I do drop the twins off at St Cakes, I have found that the local MILFs give me an extremely wide berth indeed. <br />
<br />
Nevertheless, Mrs T has insisted we both need to make more of an effort. On Saturday I was dispatched to my local M&S with strict orders to splash out on shirt, slacks and new cardigan. I know what I like, and have always been fond of a smart short-sleeve cotton polyester mix shirt and find its simple modern style complements its quick drying, non- ironing characteristics so expected to be in and out in a jiffy. Alas, the inevitable happened and I was sidetracked -and spend far too long salivating and masticating in -the Food Halls of Britain's favorite store. I did come home with a bargain XXXL pant and vest set, though. Apparently, having tried them on, this was obligatory.<br />
<br />
It seems I am not the only one that is interested in jazzing myself up. My Uncle Eric appeared on BBC breakfast news today looking very dapper but bleating on about bins again.. Whilst he looked smart, he sounded far from it, and seemed to get very confused between terms like ‘millions’ and ‘billions ‘and ‘refuge’ and ‘refuse’. It seems appearance really is as important as substance these days. In the IT dungeon at Eland House we are forever debating who styles Kate Middleton and were beside ourselves with excitement to see what frock Miriam would sport at the LibDems thingy that happened recently. And don’t get me going on the fragrant SamCam!<br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know many in Local Government have wondered about Uncle Eric and his grooming. Well, a source close to his Private Office informs me that young dandy Nick Sheridan-Westlake has been acting as Uncle Eric's personal Gok Wan over the last few weeks to ensure that he doesn’t look too common when standing next to those well groomed ex-public school boys in Manchester next week. I hear Uncle Eric and Nick enjoy nothing better than an evening of dressing each other, and chuckling at the young SPaD’s “it’s all about the conf-er-ence, girlfriend!” impression. Fingers crossed that this little Gok does not encourage Uncle E to appear naked at a fashion show in Cardinal Place shopping centre. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
The real challenge for Nick is styling the great man in such a way that he looks slimmer than the not–so-size-zero reality, while keeping his proven ability to appear somewhat crumpled and dishevelled in check. I’m sure Uncle E wouldn’t want to end up squeezing in beneath GQ Magazine’s 4th worst dressed man in the Britain, Boris Johnson. <br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-31829028350786211502011-09-29T09:11:00.000-07:002011-09-29T09:11:04.580-07:00Dangerous Liaisons<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZYNuJzZbfKAFE66Oc18OFuYQ6uG5fllGIUBsKrZpJjVAnlwdZMWiSFb8F2szdh8fn06sLcOZpKcc8QpA6HsqYktERrGF_Xl965ShMsQrTwNm0McI0VJRP1BaSVKtKEy8cck7kHHz5aZfo/s1600/NSW+has+no+willy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZYNuJzZbfKAFE66Oc18OFuYQ6uG5fllGIUBsKrZpJjVAnlwdZMWiSFb8F2szdh8fn06sLcOZpKcc8QpA6HsqYktERrGF_Xl965ShMsQrTwNm0McI0VJRP1BaSVKtKEy8cck7kHHz5aZfo/s320/NSW+has+no+willy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">According to a highly qualified civil engineer that I know, the rumours that the planned rebuilding of Victoria Street are not due to subsidence caused by an excess of weight on the 4<sup>th</sup> floor of Eland House. There had been a fear that the sharp shift to right combined with the increasing mass has caused some major structural damage to the area. It does appear the danger has been partly offset by massive production of recent hot air which has released some seismic pressure. Whilst my concerns have been abated by my engineering friend, I was subsequently frightened by another friend who is a cosmologist. She described the situation where a massive inert mass collapses in on itself sucking in everything, including light, evidence, decency and ethics. This is truly scary, perhaps when cuddly celebrity astrologer Russell Grant is freed up from his turn on Strictly Come Dancing he will care to comment upon the chances of this cosmological catastrophe – I don’t think we will have to wait long.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Obvious the big plans for knocking down and rebuilding a large part of Victoria Street will cause some problems for existing tenants. It does appear that one particular organisation does have some fairly well developed (but secret – so shh!) plans. After Westminster Council have managed to sack a large number of pen-pushing enemies of enterprise, the remainder are going to shack up with us lot in Eland House. Not exactly a case of sleeping with the enemy but more a dangerous incestuous liaison I think.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">So what are the plans for the rebuilt Victoria Street? Not sure but we could do with a new Greggs, there is only so many times staff can be expected to dine at Nandos. Come on Uncle Eric see if you can pull your weight and get us a lovely new bakery serving sugary buns and sausage rolls.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-45184522089777038952011-09-15T11:51:00.000-07:002011-09-15T11:51:17.861-07:00Slow moving target<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqwgwXxGuB2_hFwzwPLvFUCZZBe2T_lepg2IBv33LesPyt-b-4iIRcSHbovQ7iNjJTbXUTJWiIkeVU4bkI8wNOL24zZAdm1uPTGjkjsM-Fh-VoYQMaLjj4jpQDqLVGMA1oX8D74y2B_cRz/s1600/nsw+has+silly+hair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqwgwXxGuB2_hFwzwPLvFUCZZBe2T_lepg2IBv33LesPyt-b-4iIRcSHbovQ7iNjJTbXUTJWiIkeVU4bkI8wNOL24zZAdm1uPTGjkjsM-Fh-VoYQMaLjj4jpQDqLVGMA1oX8D74y2B_cRz/s1600/nsw+has+silly+hair.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Unlike my Uncle Eric heading his trolley towards the confectionery aisle in Asda, I have so far steered away from temptation of commenting upon the recent riots that blighted our beautiful city. Lots of folk have put forward their views on why it happened and how it can be prevented from occurring again. Some of the views put forward suggest a breakdown in the moral order which can only be restored by a reintroduction National Service. What I think would help would be a reintroduction of the National Indicator Set. I know in my day we had a firm but fair set of Best Value Performance Indicators that were thoroughly collected from all local government organisations and respected far and wide. These were replaced with a more diverse set of National Indicators that were in their infancy before being snuffed out by evil Eric. Each local authority had explicit targets to meet and anyone was able to hold them to account when they failed to meet their targets or perform worse than their peers. The indicators were not perfect but they gave a clear idea on how councils, fire service and police forces were performing annually.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Well when Uncle Eric came to power he decided to get rid of the National Indicator Set. There had been many critics of specific indicators but few could argue that it was necessary to have a set of performance data that allowed comparison between councils and over time. Further, Uncle Eric has gone down a populous (and ignorant) course where he has decried targets in general as being useless - perhaps they are with respect to his diet plan. He argues that he wishes to free councils to pursue their objectives unhindered from centrally controlled diktats from Whitehall but now has destroyed the one objective tool that could be used to challenge the performance of councils. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I remember the day that Uncle Eric arrived in Eland House and I weep. We all gathered to hear the great man speak. His first words were 'Localism, localism, localism' - or that is what I thought he said - it is with hindsight that I realise that he actually said 'Tokenism, tokenism, tokensim'. Uncle Eric is not keen to free councils to make their own choices he is simply keen to destroy any evidence base so that effect of his crass actions can not be monitored and for him to be help to account.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Uncle Eric says he is against targets though ironically he makes a big and slow moving one himself. Uncle Eric has called for an Army of Armchair Auditors but has dismantled their weaponry. This army of armchair auditors is about as effective the Libyan rebel troops without Nato air strikes. If Uncle Eric is serious about armchair auditing he needs to arm these shock troops - but I fear he knows this army would soon turn their guns on him and expose his ideological dismantling of local government services and inequitable funding across the country. He claims he likes a war but he doesn't like it up 'im.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here is my latest FoI request:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear Chums</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Given Uncle Eric Pickles aversion to targets. Can you please confirm that DCLG staff will no longer have to submit annual performance targets or objectives and that staff will no longer be monitored against any existing targets and be awarded pay increase in future just because they are lovely.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You're in my crosshairs</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Derek</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-59870902902538717472011-09-08T12:08:00.000-07:002011-09-08T12:08:54.443-07:00Belt Up<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2hYRv8SjlT5h1fwZeEzLkdcPFm-91WJl9l_EdYQck781zVPu-m-9Adz7Nla2TeLcmiia4C1dyPlZD3hOd5rty-ni3kUF-HfmxnETjt6Rxt5OAjGDRyDEpY9L0QPSIqhST_PBmEuCCcNhY/s1600/NSW+skips.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2hYRv8SjlT5h1fwZeEzLkdcPFm-91WJl9l_EdYQck781zVPu-m-9Adz7Nla2TeLcmiia4C1dyPlZD3hOd5rty-ni3kUF-HfmxnETjt6Rxt5OAjGDRyDEpY9L0QPSIqhST_PBmEuCCcNhY/s1600/NSW+skips.jpeg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB">I had a bit of a shock recently. I stood on the bathroom scales and at seeing the reading I first thought they must have been upside down. Surely that is suppose to say 68 not 89kg? I know I tucked away a few extra donuts whilst on holiday but really. Well that was a wake-up call and I was determined to do something about it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">When I returned to Eland House I decided that I should get involved with the most active sports club that DCLG has. So last week with some trepidation I headed deep down to the basement and enquired about joining the infamous but highly secretive darts team. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I met a great group of guys but sadly I was only there for 5 minutes before I felt a little deflated after some small prick burst my trusty spacehopper; that is the danger of the game. I think I need to find a more gentle sport… how about bowls <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as supported by Uncle Eric (http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/aug/30/eric-pickles-communities-bowling-greens ) -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>maybe we can knock down Eland House a replace it with a lush bowling green?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Anyway back to darts -the best thing about the arrowsmen was their desire for bevvy. Now that is the sport I enjoy, nearly as much as their unofficial anthem which was sung many times during the evening: ‘Wherever I lay Grant Shapps that’s my home’ .</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Talking of homes, it seems Uncle Eric and his band of merry Ministers are managing anger all sides with the new guidelines on planning for building new homes. Recently Grant Shapps, a man who could either politely be described as a creative thinker or less politely as a loon, came up with the incredible suggestion that the housing crisis could be solved with more people living on houseboats on Britain’s canals (<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14690157">http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14690157</a>). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apart from the obvious difficulties and dangers for old people, children and disabled – one thing that he did not address is what all the houseboat residents are going do with all their poo?! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely they cannot just throw it over than side of their narrow boat with the rest of their rubbish – think of the fishes man!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">It seems to some that Uncle Eric would be happy to pave over the green belt or at least put in under serious threat. No surprise there as he is constantly putting belts under strain – you just have to look at the tensile stress on his 48inch Kevlar reinforced suit belt. If that belt snaps the whiplash could cause a major incident across half of Victoria and structural damage to nearby buildings.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">DCLG recently published a Myth Busting webpage on National Planning Policy Framework (which I cannot be bothered to link too as it is dull). I thought I may be able to help out with a few extra ideas that could help with the housing crisis.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Grant Shapps could open up the East Wing of his multi-million mansion and allow 30 families to live comfortably (after all he aint going to be hit by a mansion tax any time soon)</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Uncle Eric could allow a young couple to live in his Jaguar and he could get his rubber knickers on and take a Boris Bike for the short journey from the train station.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">As DCLG do not seem to be keen to reduce rubbish going to landfill they could adopt a strategy where the landfill sites are opened for the homeless to live there. It was good enough for Stig of the Dump in the 1970s so time to reintroduce the idea.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Once the Tories have privatised the NHS completely then the hospitals could be turned over to act as cheap hostels. They could almost describe the beds as en-suite assuming the bed pans are still in place.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Encourage Channel <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>5 to host a 10 year long Big Brother and lock away same fame hungry idiots with Kerry Katona</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Host a year long festival with free camping where D:Eric and Dominoes promise to play the next night but always have to cancel. The crowds will be massive and will stay I guarantee.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"><br />
</div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-56014206369127222932011-09-02T10:22:00.000-07:002011-09-02T10:22:12.420-07:00That's not my name<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">At last a summers evening and the chance to crank the walkman up to 11 for the train journey home . Oh and what a treat tonight as I packed a C90 with some the Ting Tings on. This got me tapping my foot and jigging slightly as the train headed out of Waterloo East.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZLO_jG5avfCcL4uAclIyPyla6Nqq0YvMJxvbmadm67z1iJ7ct-NFm59eSBmKZnyuynReoXW6rF_t9uX2b_jnKbB2fVPHvuDEiZ7Y6hhTAEyjzr2_t5JffH_R3Lc9317KgAs12g_qm7_4v/s1600/Nick+is+his+name.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZLO_jG5avfCcL4uAclIyPyla6Nqq0YvMJxvbmadm67z1iJ7ct-NFm59eSBmKZnyuynReoXW6rF_t9uX2b_jnKbB2fVPHvuDEiZ7Y6hhTAEyjzr2_t5JffH_R3Lc9317KgAs12g_qm7_4v/s320/Nick+is+his+name.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Four letter word just to get me along</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">It's a difficulty and I'm biting on my tongue and uh</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I keep stalling, and keeping me together</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">People around gotta find something to say now..</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">They call me <b>Nicky</b></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">They call me <b>Nicholas</b></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">They call me her</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">They call me <b>Nick</b></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: purple; line-height: normal;"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">That's not my name</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">It is as if it was written for our pal Nick Sheridan-Westlake. Such a nice name.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Funny thing names - It seems some people want to be known by one name whilst others call them something else entirely. For example I have heard Uncle Eric Pickles being called all sorts of things by his staff.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Now it seems DCLG are keen to block requests for information from the growing army of armchair auditors, especially one relating to their infamously costly (and hardly visited) barrier busting website – I am not including the link any longer as it just doubles their traffic.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">DCLG have decided to block what appear to be legitimate requests from Amy Fisher and Mr Jones. Strangely they seem to have responded to Ms Fisher on various requests but decided to block her and question her identity when she started sniffing around the Barrier Busting website<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(see: http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/user/amy_fisher)…. I wonder why? I am sure if you are a budding Armchair Auditor there may be things that you want to know how your hard earned taxes were spent on this website. If so get a request in, you never know what you may find out!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">All a bit fishy that DCLG have so far just asked requestors to confirm their identity when they started asking questions are the Barrier Busting website but seem to be happy to respond to anything else unless it from me ;(</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Also good news. It is reassuring to see this has been picked up the hard working indefatigable investigate journalist Ruth Keeling, at the Local Government Chronicle (see <a href="http://www.lgcplus.com/topics/transparency/dclg-resorts-to-identity-checks-to-stall-vexatious-foi-requests/5034172.article">http://www.lgcplus.com/topics/transparency/dclg-resorts-to-identity-checks-to-stall-vexatious-foi-requests/5034172.article</a>)</span></div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-136770092924854872.post-5801626078651375092011-08-22T12:05:00.000-07:002011-08-22T12:05:41.613-07:00War is Over<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdpvsWiC6WnRduADStbEGqHNObWxoD_fTSB_QY6aW24B0JDsne1Yw65ddb32awQopcWLvF6yqJ6rdXAFuaNjINDj_qdc9uy1zKMu4_mm613_7GawfjJJjnrEty87Fj8rzQbdYiSJuYHmcQ/s1600/NSW+hates+Grant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdpvsWiC6WnRduADStbEGqHNObWxoD_fTSB_QY6aW24B0JDsne1Yw65ddb32awQopcWLvF6yqJ6rdXAFuaNjINDj_qdc9uy1zKMu4_mm613_7GawfjJJjnrEty87Fj8rzQbdYiSJuYHmcQ/s1600/NSW+hates+Grant.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Initially I thought Dave 'The PM' Cameron had cut another holiday short to sort out the problem with the growing crisis with weekly bin collections but no he wanted to come back from his 5<sup>th</sup> holiday to take the glory for sorting out Libya. He seemed to come back a bit quicker than last time when he limped back to tell the Feds to sort out rioters.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This lack of focus on the big issue of bin weekly bin collection is worrying and would have my Uncle Eric turning in his grave; assuming he was dead and assuming he is able to turn over unaided.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It appears that Uncle Eric’s war against the decimation of every Englishman’s right to have the remains of his chicken tikka collected weekly is failing – perhaps he should have a word with William Hague for some military strategic advice. Mr Hague may also be able to offer advice on how to handle a young feisty SpAd that can get you in all sorts of trouble.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So we now a have the situation where conservative run Rossendale District Council in Cumbria are no longer even bothering to come up your road to collect the household rubbish. Residents are expected to just dump it at the end of the lane. I think next the council should just get residents to chuck it in one of their many lakes that litter the landscape, that will be cheap and save a load of bother.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Also Dave Cameron’s own constituency council, West Oxfordshire, has moved away from weekly collection. Good Lord can imagine how poor Sam Cam is coping with a slop bucket in her pantry? According to the The Telegraph <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/countryside/8712998/Doorstep-rubbish-collections-scrapped-after-130-years.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #606420;">http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/countryside/8712998/Doorstep-rubbish-collections-scrapped-after-130-years.html</span></a> over half of the households in England do not have their rubbish collected weekly. Since Uncle Eric started to bang on incessantly about weekly bin collection a further 19 councils have moved away from them. Come on Uncle Eric get a grip, you are losing the war!!!!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtFh0DCtUsX1iVjO0Vd02YBLwVtxaIAZHzo4B731ru-6vaS_Jq2Obi2qQbUBVp0njmDOVDs4eHL8FDLigp4T-f2sfSoUQ8B85xLkuH0kchuJeQLYzZmx4dwkO7ZHek61S59Am80UinRjEL/s1600/NSW+wears+a+bra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtFh0DCtUsX1iVjO0Vd02YBLwVtxaIAZHzo4B731ru-6vaS_Jq2Obi2qQbUBVp0njmDOVDs4eHL8FDLigp4T-f2sfSoUQ8B85xLkuH0kchuJeQLYzZmx4dwkO7ZHek61S59Am80UinRjEL/s320/NSW+wears+a+bra.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here is my latest FoI request.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear Chums</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This is a public service announcement. The war is over and you, DCLG, have lost. I repeat the war is over. Please put down your pens and raise your hands above your heads. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Uncle Eric has waged war on many fronts over the last few months but his attack on councils moving way from weekly bin collection has been the highest profile. It does seem now that with over half of households in England not receiving a weekly collection the war has been well and truly lost. More and more council scuttle away from the costly weekly collection faster than a rat heading for Uncle Eric's discarded daily chicken tikka scraps.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I wonder if Uncle Eric has any plans to make a dignified surrender or possibly commit hari-kari in the foyer of Eland House, dressed only in his rubber knickers like a defeated Sumo warrior? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Under the FoI act, may I request the following?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Any plans to introduce the release of additional grants (delivered through specific grant) to enable hard pressed local authorities to reintroduce weekly collection?</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Any communication between DCLG and West Oxfordshire District Council relating wholly or partly to waste collection since April 2011.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;">Yours never surrendering</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;">Derek</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000;"><span style="color: black;">PS It is good to be back!</span> </div></div>Derek Tickleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10839820139011912140noreply@blogger.com5